Hey guys, so myself and two other promising ladies decided to talk on the issue of a man’s death is like doom for his family. we considered what may be the cause of this and also proffer solutions that we deem fit.
OlamideAdeoye is a student, creator, adventurer and a person in constant search of doubt.
Sharon Juwaha serial entrepreneur and brand manager.
Lashey: hi ladies, how are you all doing?
OlamideAdeoye: very well thank you
Sharon Juwah: i am doing just great.
Lashey: So the topic bothers on the common concept of when the husband dies the family begins to suffer and become poor. What’s your take on this?
OlamideAdeoye: I think this problem is rooted in lack of preparation and secrecy.
OlamideAdeoye: Some men earn more than their wives.
OlamideAdeoye: They do not prepare for a life without them (the father/husband)
OlamideAdeoye: They do not have wills before death.
OlamideAdeoye: They do not take life insurance policies
Sharon Juwah: I think it boils down to cultural bias
Sharon Juwah: when I say cultural bias: for instance in Igbo land, in some part some villages, if the husband should die they assume that to say what the man has acquired they take it away, not like they take it away its not known to the wife so that, so that the wife will not go and re-marry and the new husband will enjoy all that the dead man has labored for. So i think there is backwardness comes to play here. Like, it doesn’t even make sense. Whatever property is made its like for the couple to enjoy and for the family to fall back on.
Also I think nonchalant attitude. Some wives are just in the habit of collecting and collecting. “Honey I need money for hair, aso ebi and so on like that. So when the man dies, they don’t know how the money was (laughs), they are too stuck up on collecting they don’t know how to make that money back. So when the man goes, they are just like what’s next?
OlamideAdeoye: That is very much valid
OlamideAdeoye: Many women and children do not know the source of their husband/father’s wealth.
Lashey: Can we also come from the “over religious” point of view? People fail to prepare will because when the idea come they are like are you praying for them to die?
Lashey: The idea of will is commonly seen as what you should do when you are close to 80 or so not minding the fact of uncertainties to occurs
OlamideAdeoye: Many people are unnecessarily superstitious
OlamideAdeoye: Preparing a will is something that should be embraced especially if you own a lot of property and you intend to protect your wife and children
OlamideAdeoye: It’s your Assurance
OlamideAdeoye: Death does not inform anyone before it takes you away
Sharon Juwah: Yesssss
This one annoys me ehn
Sharon Juwah: Then
Many men do not have the family orientation
Sharon Juwah: Many men have their brothers and extended family members as next of kin and not their wives or nuclear families.
Very very true
OlamideAdeoye: very unwise decision which turns out to be stories that touch after they are gone
Lashey: So if may ask since we have identify this problem, at what age should a man have his will prepared
Sharon Juwah: I feel 30
Sharon Juwah: By 30, you should have made some acquisitions no matter how small
OlamideAdeoye: I don’t know about at the right age but as long as you have something worth protecting you should consider writing a will
OlamideAdeoye: If you’re a tenant with no property in your name, you can’t give your family your landlord’s house now
Lashey: Okay so do you think you father has a will already???
Sharon Juwah: Car
Cash in the bank
Sharon Juwah: I know mine doesn’t
Sharon Juwah: It’s not even a conversation he’s ready to have
Sharon Juwah: But another thing
OlamideAdeoye: I don’t think so
He just may surprise me
Another thing that makes people shy away from writing a will, is once you write a will you have target on your back. Let’s say “you will 10 million naira to your first son, when that boy let’s take for instance has a cocaine addiction he needs money to get stuff. He will just remember bruvh! I have 10min this man will, let’s kill him and take the money now. ” do you get? So it’s like…….it’s happens a lots, let’s not even say it doesn’t. At least abroad that I am sure of
Lashey: But people can write will without letting their children know
Lashey: You will be surprise that it is in Nigeria that they do it more
When they submit your name to some witches association
OlamideAdeoye: Ife oooooo
OlamideAdeoye: Same superstitious issue
Lashey: So what the way forward out of this
Sharon juwah: Sister doesn’t know o
Sharon Juwah: To be effective, we should propose solutions to all problems raised
OlamideAdeoye: Let’s sleep on that
So we can have valid points.
OlamideAdeoye: I suggest.
Taking a life assurance policy and the beneficiaries should be your wife and children (or only your children) as beneficiaries or other policies to cater for your children’s education
Write a will or set up a trust for your children.
Most times, it’s dangerous to trust your siblings to take care of your immediate family.
Africa magic has taught us a lot ??♀
Inform your spouse about properties you own and their location or grown up children (the documents can be kept at the bank or with a trusted lawyer) Properties like cars, money in the bank, shares etc And don’t be the African man who still believes that a woman should be in the house to take care of the children only.
Sharon Juwah: Uhm. I would add.
Women. Wives and mothers. Be involved in something.
Know what your husband does to sustain the family
If he is into business, I’m not saying you must do the same line of work with him, but have an understanding of how it works.
Stay at home wifery should be discouraged. Ladies, get out there and contribute your quota. If your husband refuses, point it out to him the importance of your work asides self fulfillment.
Joint acquisition of property by husband and wife. This way, the wives and by extension children would know about all property that can be manage to sustain the family after his passing.
I also think children should be aware of their parents property or line of business to ensure continuity. Once there is continuity of a stream of income, they should be alright. In essence, thank you so much for having me. I hope we were able to touch on key areas and that this was truly insightful.