To the Love I Haven’t Met—Yet.
It is Friday evening. The week was crazy but the weekend was even about to be super busy for me. As I lay on my bed, craving a moment of quiet, I find myself absentmindedly stroking my hair—my very oily 4C hair. And in that stillness, I imagine what it would be like if you were here. —
I imagine your fingers running gently through my coils as I rest my head on your chest, listening to the rhythm of your heartbeat. On nights like this, I find myself creating an image of you—one that fits my perspective and my longing. But the truth is, I don’t even know what to imagine.
Tall or short? Slim or broad? Bearded or clean-shaven? Nigerian or not? Dark or….
The anticipation sometimes feels overwhelming. I want to see you, to know you. I wonder what our first conversation will be like. Will I recognize you immediately? Or will it take time for our hearts to align?
What a transformation from here.
I came across something I wrote four years ago, in 2021, during another night like this:
I am too conscious and anticipating what he would look like. The how what, when, where are what I think about with this subject. Just a figment maybe I would be calm. God has placed this desire in my heart for marriage and now I anticipate.
This is a miracle in itself. God always tells me, ‘WAIT’ Even as calm as it sounds in my mind, it is very resounding. He has repeated it through people to me. My gaze should remain on him completely and it is in this, during this that he will come and still, my focus will be on Him. Don’t worry about him. Continually pray for him while busy with your assignment and God will sort you out—as He always has.
It’s been four years since I wrote that, and tonight, I find myself still waiting—but for a good reason. My weekend is busy because I am doing God’s work. And I know, deep down, that when the time is right, our paths will cross in the most divine way.
My favorite poem on waiting.
Still, some nights, I wish you’d come sooner. I have so much to tell you. My journal is filled with thoughts I’d prefer to share with you. I have whispered conversations into the night, imagining you were listening. I can’t wait to meet you.
Nights like these makes me wonder why it is taking you so long to show up. I don’t want to just wait—I want to share, to laugh, to do life together.
I wanted to say, to take your time… but honestly? Mans tired. Do fast and come.
I cannot wait to meet you.
I wanted to say take your pretty time but mans tired. Do fast and come. I cannot wait to see you.
Your Love,
Lashey.