Posts by lashey

How your Childhood affects your personal finance

How your Childhood affects your personal finance

My current financial situation and my concluding the “smart money woman” series spurred this discussion. I had a moment of reflection on what my relationship with money over the past year has been. 

Here is one side of my relationship.

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At 23: The Adulthood Journey

At 23: The Adulthood Journey

Life, although not fully understood but by experience, can be funny. When you are young, you can’t wait to be old. Meanwhile, when growing up hits you hard, you can only wish and reminisce about being a child again. 

This post has been long overdue. I have written the final draft only for it to be re-edited again since I did not post as at when due.  Now I have to make this post up to date.  Read More

Why Your Friends Are More Important Than You Think

Why your friends are important than you think
Friends that show up.

Why Your Friends Are More Important Than You Think

This one time while scrolling through my Whatsapp, I saw a post of my friend talking about how he felt so uncomfortable calling some of his friends. I responded, asking if he was uncomfortable calling me and well, I was one of the ‘friends’. He felt bad and explained that he did not want to call ranting about how his life is not so good while mine might be the same. He was not the first friend that said that to me. 

While I was preparing for my exams, I got an unusual ‘hi’ from a friend and I responded. But there was no response, so I called him later that night. He said he had a lot on his mind that he wanted to share but couldn’t and so he cried, prayed and got out of that mood. His excuse was I was prepping for exams and didn’t want to be a burden. These two experiences made me reflect on millennial friendships.

Kisses to the intentional friends

What is the meaning of friendship? 

The close friends list on Instagram and Snapchat? Group of people just ‘rooting’ for each other while envious of their success? People you cannot call at your low point because you don’t want them to make fun of you or to see you helpless. People that you do all the fun stuff with but cannot sit and have a meaningful conversation with each other. 

Aristotle calls this kind of friendship ‘accidental’ a kind of friendship that is based on utility and pleasure. A friendship that is not in for the affection rather for what they can get from each other. Most often this kind only lasts pending the duration of the benefits. Although, this may not be totally bad when understood by both parties.

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Then there is the intentional friendship which requires time and trust to build and it depends on mutual growth. Utility and pleasure is a bonus. 

I think it is vital that as we try to navigate the course of our lives, we do not forget to build our friendships, too. Over time, friendship would be one of the few things that matter.

Let your friendship move past a string of interaction over social media. Be more intentional.

Friendship to me is much more than posting each other’s pictures and businesses on social media, or sharing gossip, or how long we have known each other for. It is about knowing that this person may not be perfect, maybe busy most of the time, but still choosing to be in their life anyways.

It is intentional reaching out despite the busy schedule. Making out time for that text, voice note, etc. Sending out open and appreciative messages when my friends least expect. It is about openness, knowing that when the going gets tough, they would always have my back as I would theirs. It is a judgement-free zone, however, being able to spell out the truth in love regardless of how it may hurt.

One thing is certain, sometimes the bond of friendship grows, other times it breaks. But a friendship doesn’t have to be permanent to have a profound effect on your life.

 Friendship in adulthood is one of the highest forms of love imaginable. We are and we live through the people we spend our time with.

Food for thought

Who are your friends? Who do you keep in your circle? Maybe it is time for re-evaluationS. These friends will determine the course of your life indirectly in years to come. 

I wrote this too: I used to be hungry for God- What happened?.

Welcome to my Jordan year- 23 on the 23rd

My Jordan year

Background story

I am always excited and looking forward to my birthday. As a person big on self-love, I would save up to make myself happy and friends too. I always want to maximize the attention I would get on that day. It is not every day you get people greeting you, smiling and waving at you. The paparazzi is nice!!!

My classmates always looked forward to my new clothes (always white as per law student) and the cake. I always want it special for me and don’t mind saving up for just that day. I keep the hair, clothes and then beg my friends to do make up for me. No matter how little, something must be done.

23 was a bit different since it would a rhyme with the actual day. In Babcock, we were four sharing the same day. Michael Oshai had celebrated his 23on the 23rd with his friends. Since that time I bore it in mind that I would do the same with my friends.

I bored my inner circle with how I wanted it to be. Being limited in monetary resources, I looked forward to black Friday, still couldn’t afford anything. (inside life, lol) I had imagined a billion and one things I would have done if I had the money.

I prayed to God about it. But still bothered myself on how it will turn out. (Wahala for who can not rest in Christ) Anyways it did turn out amazing. I have been blessed with strategic people all around me. Provision came. God came through.

Why 23 years equals Jordan year

Anyways while surfing through the net, I found out that 23 is equal to Jordan year. Then I decided to read up on why it was called so.

The number 23 is synonymous to Michael Jordan.  At age 23, Michael Jordan scored sixty-three points versus the Boston Celtics in the NBA playoffs of 1986. (Don’t really know much on basketball but sounds like a good deal) It was the defining age of his career.  Hence 23rd birthday as the Jordan year.

At age 23, the Nigerian environment doesn’t really room for exploring. I thought I’d been an esquire but I am yet to write my bar exams. I barely have clarity as regards so many things. Even after escaping the ASSU strike, only to meet another strike in the Nigerian Law School.

My Jordan year

Regardless of all, I am eternally grateful to God for another year. Being happy that I am alive is a miracle, I somehow wished for death as my tired was tired. But I am excited to live!! And that’s all because of Jesus.

It is a year of an internal voyage, making decisions that would ultimately affect my outward perspective and give me peace. Not focusing on what could have been done but taking a deep breath and ultimately exploiting the opportunities. It is just like any other year but I am defining it with more intentionality with regards to my career, purpose, spirituality and so on. While I may have not achieved a lot as Michael Jordan did at age 23, there are lessons. I am making terrific decisions with regards career, fingers crossed.

PS: Somewhere in my head, I am already planning for my 24th and 25th. Maybe much more will goal setting and preparations sha.

So, I am welcoming you to my Jordan year. This is the year of discipline, sacrifice and consistency.

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